Rule 1: If You Try to Please Everyone, You Please No One

As social animals, our brains are wired up in a way that makes pleasing others important to us (for the most part). Whether the person in question is a member of your family, your boss, your partner, a friend etc, you put in place methods geared towards making them happy, so as to maintain relative peace and contentment in your life.

But then you fall into the trap. In trying too hard to please others it is very easy to neglect your own needs and so subsequently disappoint yourself. If you try too hard to please everyone, you please no one; least of all yourself.

As human beings, we try to pursue our own goals and fulfil our own ambitions, no matter how simple or far-fetched those may be. To have to give up those ambitions in order to please somebody else can be soul-destroying, especially if you do not feel that there is a big enough return on their part. There is no feeling worse than that of complete dissatisfaction with oneself. Being forced to give up your goals and dreams can leave you feeling powerless. I know from experience that it can lead to periods of extreme anxiety and even depression. It will only get worse if you do not take control of your life and ensure that it is YOU (and nobody else) who is sitting in the driving seat.

Imagine for a minute that you are in a car and that everybody else you know is in a separate car travelling along the roads around you. If your life’s journey is like that of a car travelling along a motorway, and you are the driver of that car, you need to be making the decisions or else you will have an accident. YOU need to decide how slowly or quickly to drive. YOU need to decide which exits you are taking, which way you are turning and where your final destination is. YOU need to decide when it is time to hold back, and when it is time to overtake and leave other cars behind. Sometimes your decisions will cause accidents; other times they will benefit both you and the other cars around you. On occasions, you will also need to give way to other cars, it is true, but first and foremost in your mind should be your own destination.

Don’t let anybody else stop you from achieving your goals. Whatever you want to do, go out there and do it.

If you are unhappy with your circumstances, what are YOU going to do about it?

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